From Tim Savage's book No Ordinary Marriage: Together For God's Glory:
With the biblical injunction of love comes an extraordinary promise. If a husband loves his wife as Christ loves the church, he will – imagine this! – maker her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and present her to himself in all her radiance, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless (Eph. 5:26-27).
Biblical love transforms a wife. It is the most powerful shaping agent in the world. Love elevates a wife above everything common and defiled, cleanses her from the sullying influences of her past, and transforms her into a radiant person. It bathes her in the glory of God and removes – from the eyes of her husband and, consequently, from her own eyes too – any taint or blemish. What an exquisite creature is the woman loved by her husband! Men take note. The wife of your dreams – ind a wife exceeding your dreams – awaits the demonstration in and through you of Christlike love.
Too many husbands adopt a different patter. They nurture a vision of the ideal woman and then point out to their wives areas where they fall short. They chip away at their wives, often issuing toxic barbs: ‘Why aren’t you more disciplined?’ why are you putting on weight?’ “Why don’t you pay more attention to my interests?’ ‘Why are you always late?’ ‘Why is the house a mess?’ ‘Why are the children misbehaving?’ (86)